because i am deep in my undoing, 
unraveling my disdain for the self
i am awfully wet right now 
i am soaked through my clothes
i am trudging through

because i am busy reversing all of my unloving
yes, rewinding my embarrassment
it is hard to make a full sentence
it is hard to focus on anything, be it still or moving

because i am knee deep in my own heart

i just cant come outside right now

not yet. 

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